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Jewish Redneck Jokes
You Might be a Jewish Redneck if:

- You think that "KKK" means really really Kosher
- You have a gun rack in your Sukkah
- The only area on your lawn that is mowed is where you burned your Chametz
- You have ever fired a gun to the sound of Haman's name
- You know what Barach to say when you see a UFO
- You know which brand of grit is Kosher
- You think that a hora is a high priced call girl
- You wear cowboy boots to shul
- Your favorite Passover snack is spam on a sandwhich
- You don't ride on Shabbat because your car is up on blocks
- Your favorite beverage is a combination of Manischewitz and Mountain Dew, also called "Mountain Jew"
- You're disappointed when your son tells you he wants to be a doctor or a lawyer, and not a NASCAR driver
- You think Dolly Parton should have the lead role in Yentl
- You try to catch catfish with Matza Balls
- Gefitle fish is the most solid thing you can eat with your tooth
- Your yard has car parts lying around to Volvo's, BMW's, and Camry's
- Making your first deer is part of your Bar Mitzva's right of passage
- You use a fiddle and a banjo to play Hava Nagila
- You know that Santa Clause and the Elves must be Jewish. Who else would work on Christmas Eve?
Your Seder plate has a picture of Elvis on it.
- You open the door for Elijah at Passover and have to chase away possums.
- You turn off your bug zapper on Friday night.
- Your Menorah is electric and has bug light bulbs in it.
- You use dynamite in the pond to get gefilte fish.
- You request your Rabbi to certify roadkill as kosher.
- You know how to play Hava Nagila and Hatikva on the banjo.
- “Larry the Mohel Guy” ‘nuff said.
- You use leftover matzoth as skeet targets.
- Your yarmulke says “John Deere” or “NASCAR” on it, or has fishing lures stuck in it.
- Your tallis is made from camouflage cloth.
- Your hunting dogs are circumcised and answer to the names of Moshe, Shmuel and Yakob.
- You serve matzoth ball soup in old Cool Whip containers.
- You play drinking games with your dreidel.
- You had a combination Bar or Bat Mitzvah and Wedding.
- Your Chupah was a blue plastic tarp from Wal-Mart.
- You wrote your own Ketubah with permanent marker.
- You order latkes at the local waffle house.
- You painted over letters on your Toyota tailgate so it now says OY.
- Your synagogue used to have wheels, but now it’s up on blocks.
- At Passover, a guy named Elijah really does show up.
- You hunted game to make your own tefilin and gave the rest of the hide to the local scribe for new Torah scroll material.

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